Today's post is a bit different for a number of reasons! I have taken a break from 'my favourites of 2014' series that has been running to give you a life update.
Usually my blog is filled with fun and happy things that I have either experienced in my daily life and today this post is going to break the mould.
Last night (Thursday 11th December) my school held it's annual Senior Christmas Ceilidh that fundraises for our leavers dance. As you guys know I love a good ceilidh always have and probably always will but last night obviously just wasn't my night. So I thought I would explain why it wasn't one of the best nights of my life...
Once we had eaten we then went to go and get ready. If I'm honest my group of friends isn't exactly extremely girly. Of course we love getting all dressed up and yeah we have all the concerns about whether we look good or not but we don't cake ourselves in makeup and are quite laid back when it comes to that sort of stuff.
It took me and my friend Sharon like 50 times to get the perfect wings in our cat eyes which was so funny! It was my first time using liquid liner instead of a pencil so it was quite daunting! Rachel just sat there and told us whether the eyes looked the same as she sat and curled her hair I'm pretty sure she must of got extremely bored by the end of it! We also all ended up leaving the house with the same lipstick on which I thought was quite funny! My other friend Lucie came by as the time neared for us to leave and that's when tons of photos occurred!
Once we arrived at the ceilidh we all got drinks and sat down while everyone else arrived. I must admit that the committee did a great job with the whole event and our school actually looked good! More pictures occurred while we waited for the ceilidh to actually start. Sean and I always have the first dance at a ceilidh together so that is what happened and then I mixed and match with all of my friends. I even had to dance with my guidance teacher! In the first half of the ceilidh it was all the traditional dances that everyone knew so it was pretty good.
As you all know I suffer from pretty bad anxiety and as the night went on with everyone on the dance floor I began to get extremely anxious so I left and went and sat outside in the office area. What didn't help was that people kept coming up to me and asking if I was ok which didn't help to be honest because I just wanted to be left alone. I then got the courage to go back into the hall but as soon as I did I felt even worse so I had to get out again. This time I ended up having a full on panic attack and I pretty much knew that my night was just going to get worse from there... But I had to keep going and pretend that everything was fine and that is what we did.
The first half of the ceilidh band had finished and then they had some of the talented students play. Lets just say that the majority of people there were highly intoxicated and it got a little out of hand and some classic songs got ruined... I actually lasted for most of the break in the hall which was a massive achievement for me!
The second half of the ceilidh band started and I just couldn't deal with it. I kept getting extremely anxious and I just couldn't do it. I got up and danced a couple of times but as the night drew to a close I ended up just sitting down at the table. I feel so horrible about the whole night because I feel like I ruined my friends night because I was feeling so crap.
So yeah that was why the ceilidh was so bad. Not because of the ceilidh band which were great but because of my anxiety...
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